One of my patients turned 102 today.

Sometime in the past two years, a shadow crept between me and the light that brightened and warmed my world. As someone who considers herself an optimist, this was a new experience. I called it many things...reality, fatigue, stress, illness, etc, and while I was busy being led by all these distractions, a more insidious problem was developing.

Depression is confusing, because unlike physical disorders, you don't always recognize it when you see it. Your muddled mind can't sort out your symptoms on it's own sometimes, and as a result you may follow as it leads you miles down a dark and lonely road. When you finally look around and realize you recognize none of your surroundings, you tell yourself it's no use...you're too lost, too vulnerable to find your way out. You begin to grow comfortable with this lesser way of living.

So this is where I find myself now. Like a recovering addict, my approach is now to make the NEXT best decision. Instead of floating aimlessly through my day I'm taking a more proactive approach. I may do it imperfectly, but I believe each positive step taken clears the path a little bit more. If you're dealing with similar issues, you may want to check out this blog. It's been an encouragement to me.