Study geometry? Spray for bugs?
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Have you ever seen anything cuter? Yes, that's a baby fox.
Follow the Longest Acres blog for more adorableness.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Hiking Today
It was hotter than hot today with no breeze but it was still a good day for the woods.
As much as it pains me to admit, Lydia hates hiking. She was really great at not complaining...verbally...for about 5 minutes. Sighing...yes. Dramatically swatting at bugs...yes. Glancing worriedly into the trees looking for bigfoot (my fault for making her watch that show about bigfoot hunters)...yes. It wasn't until the very end that she out and out told me she hated it with a passion. It's ok. Next time I have to take her to F21 I'll remind her of this day.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
If You Give a Pig a Pancake
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Change
I've been batting around the idea of making a dastric location change in the near future. Lydia and I don't have much that ties us to Tennessee, and with my CNA license I can work pretty much anywhere in the country. I've spent several hours looking around the web for a town that catches my eye...somewhere that looks as if it was made for Lydia and I. In reality I don't know if we'll really move, but having the possibility is exciting. We could go on any kind of adventure we wanted to. Where would you start over if YOU could go anywhere?
Maybe Colorado?
Forks, Washington?
San Francisco?
Chicago?
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Best of Craigslist
This is my favorite "best of" craigslist ad. I read it years ago and still find it hilarious.
Date: 2008-06-26, 10:36AM CDT
To the Minotaur that lives above me.
Date: 2008-06-26, 10:36AM CDT
First off, I must say that I admire your courage. It must be hard living in the world today as a lady-beast. Society judges, oh lord do they ever.
With that said, let's get down to business. Over the past year, we've had a funny sort of relationship, you and I. When I first moved into the place, it was rather peaceful. It was an exciting time in my life, as it was the first time I would be living by myself. Then came the day that I first heard it. What did I hear you ask? It was sound of your hooves galloping across the hardwood floors of your living room. At the time I thought, No big deal, surely it can't always be like this. Oh was I wrong. It turned out that every time I was at home, you would be up there, stomping around, like the wild lady-beast that you are.
After a few weeks, I determined through a process of elimination, that you are in fact, a Minotaur. It only makes sense.
FACT. Minotaurs have hooves, and that's sure as hell what it sounds like is hitting the floor when you gallop around.
FACT. A Minotaur posses great strength, the kind of strength that can be felt by a guy laying on his couch, trying to get into a good book. The kind of strength that shakes the dishes in his cupboards. The kind of strength that can wake a guy out of a dead sleep, EVERY FRICKIN MORNING. I didn't even need to set an alarm clock to wake up in the morning. Instead I wake up to THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP. I'm not a light sleeper by any means; I sleep right through the viscously loud police, fire truck, and ambulance sirens every night. I was lying there one morning, frustrated, counting the trips you took between your bedroom and your bathroom. 17. 17 god forsaken trips between the bedroom and the bathroom. Really? Are you kidding me? What could you possibly be doing?
FACT. Minotaurs are half bull. Bulls are aggressive when taunted. Apparently, the time I went upstairs, politely introduced myself, and asked you rather nicely to please quit stomping around, was a taunt. That's when you got aggressive. You called the landlord and told him that I was complaining about your noise. When he told me about this, he said his response to your complaint was, Quit making so much noise then. Brilliant. Go Mr. Landlord! I tried keeping him out of this, but you felt it important to drag him into it.
After a few more weeks of you recklessly stomping around, I made another attempt at a civil confrontation. It failed. It failed because you stomped your way to the door, and you didn't open it when you saw who was standing there. I know this because I heard your hooves clippity-clop their way to the door. Way to avoid confrontation.
To my surprise, the stomping ceased the next day, and I awoke to peace. Amazing, I thought, It must be a midsummer miracle!! A few days passed, and I ran into my landlord in the entry way. He mentioned that he received another angry phone call from you. Said that you felt threatened by my confrontations, said I scared you. Strange, since not once did I ever raise my voice or try to be anything but civil. He then mentioned that he told you to buy some slippers to wear around your apartment. Genius! It freakin worked!! Hell yea, Mr Landlord! High five!
Fast forward 11 months. The stomping has returned. No doubt in my mind the hooves have worn through the delicate fabrics of the slippers and are now, once again, banging against your hardwood floors.
Please, for the love of sweet baby jesus, run down to the local Target and purchase yourself another pair of hoof mufflers. I know you can run with those strong legs of yours, probably real fast like! Target downtown is all of 10 blocks away. Go Minotaur, go! Overcome the odds, society is watching! (and judging)
With that said, let's get down to business. Over the past year, we've had a funny sort of relationship, you and I. When I first moved into the place, it was rather peaceful. It was an exciting time in my life, as it was the first time I would be living by myself. Then came the day that I first heard it. What did I hear you ask? It was sound of your hooves galloping across the hardwood floors of your living room. At the time I thought, No big deal, surely it can't always be like this. Oh was I wrong. It turned out that every time I was at home, you would be up there, stomping around, like the wild lady-beast that you are.
After a few weeks, I determined through a process of elimination, that you are in fact, a Minotaur. It only makes sense.
FACT. Minotaurs have hooves, and that's sure as hell what it sounds like is hitting the floor when you gallop around.
FACT. A Minotaur posses great strength, the kind of strength that can be felt by a guy laying on his couch, trying to get into a good book. The kind of strength that shakes the dishes in his cupboards. The kind of strength that can wake a guy out of a dead sleep, EVERY FRICKIN MORNING. I didn't even need to set an alarm clock to wake up in the morning. Instead I wake up to THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP. I'm not a light sleeper by any means; I sleep right through the viscously loud police, fire truck, and ambulance sirens every night. I was lying there one morning, frustrated, counting the trips you took between your bedroom and your bathroom. 17. 17 god forsaken trips between the bedroom and the bathroom. Really? Are you kidding me? What could you possibly be doing?
FACT. Minotaurs are half bull. Bulls are aggressive when taunted. Apparently, the time I went upstairs, politely introduced myself, and asked you rather nicely to please quit stomping around, was a taunt. That's when you got aggressive. You called the landlord and told him that I was complaining about your noise. When he told me about this, he said his response to your complaint was, Quit making so much noise then. Brilliant. Go Mr. Landlord! I tried keeping him out of this, but you felt it important to drag him into it.
After a few more weeks of you recklessly stomping around, I made another attempt at a civil confrontation. It failed. It failed because you stomped your way to the door, and you didn't open it when you saw who was standing there. I know this because I heard your hooves clippity-clop their way to the door. Way to avoid confrontation.
To my surprise, the stomping ceased the next day, and I awoke to peace. Amazing, I thought, It must be a midsummer miracle!! A few days passed, and I ran into my landlord in the entry way. He mentioned that he received another angry phone call from you. Said that you felt threatened by my confrontations, said I scared you. Strange, since not once did I ever raise my voice or try to be anything but civil. He then mentioned that he told you to buy some slippers to wear around your apartment. Genius! It freakin worked!! Hell yea, Mr Landlord! High five!
Fast forward 11 months. The stomping has returned. No doubt in my mind the hooves have worn through the delicate fabrics of the slippers and are now, once again, banging against your hardwood floors.
Please, for the love of sweet baby jesus, run down to the local Target and purchase yourself another pair of hoof mufflers. I know you can run with those strong legs of yours, probably real fast like! Target downtown is all of 10 blocks away. Go Minotaur, go! Overcome the odds, society is watching! (and judging)
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